Downers and Uppers

I woke up feeling so shitty this morning *considers getting back on iMoods case =(( ...i couldn't help but cry and i couldn't lay blame on one particular thing either.. Lauren was playing her keyboard and it was a lovely classical piece.. that didn't help and i got all emotional *LOL ...she's so brill! the recital on Wednesday night was a fantastic success and we're going to have a meeting with Dave to see what our next steps should be with regards to Lauren progressing further- a piano at home would be a start but we just haven't the space :/ ... i really should considering moving house.. i think about it quite a bit but familiarity breeds contempt as 'they' say and i'm actually frightened to start actioning a house move ...oh, i am soooo crap sometimes! Ben did take the video camera to the recital but he wasn't able to get any footage that i could bl'oof to the puter so i'm hoping to get some of Lauren at home instead... don't hold your breathe tho... between finding time to take it and bl'oofing it... i gotta figure out which ways best to host it =) ...so, back to my crappy morning.. I woke up to the sound of Nina and Lauren playing in their bedroom which was lovely, and Ben was lay behind me, snuggled up and rubbing my tum.. that was so sweet.. but i just felt bad and couldn't hold back the tears... i think, because i've got quite a few places to go this week i'm getting myself in a tizz... Lauren isn't in school on Tuesday because of a strike but i'm meant to be going to the Opportunity Group but i'm not sure if Lauren going will be frowned upon.. but as i didn't go last week i know its going to be harder to go back the longer i leave it.. Aileens coming on Wednesday and i've got it into my head that she was pissed the last time she came because of something i did.. so i'm fretting about that.. and on Thursday we're back to see Dr Berchtold at the childrens hospital to see what he makes of all the reports he must have gotten by now.... on top of that, i even started to think about Nina going to nursery and would i really be able to do that each day on my own.. that frightens me so much :( ...so, i had a weep, got it out of my system as much as i could and Ben push some happy pills in my direction with a look of total frustration so i took them... and i know i should continue to but i'll start to feel better because of them.. and then i'll forget to take them and thats when it all starts over *bleh!